An Unfamiliar Story
by fopalup1
Summary: Harry always wanted to be normal, right? Well, he gets his wish, but fate doesn't let go that easily...


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An Unfamiliar Story - A Harry Potter Crossover

Harry always wanted to be normal, right? Well, he gets his wish, but fate doesn't let go that easily...

AN - this is for my wife, who is always encouraging me to write. Granted I don't think this is what she was originally asking for, but... Also the title can be attributed to her.

Now this is a crossover, people. Because of this I am going to have to play a bit fast and loose with Harry Potter and the universe it is going to cross over with. For those of you worried about how canon isn't being followed, to you I say Duh! This is fanfiction people! I don't own anything and anything I write is for my own enjoyment. It's my own 'what-if' story using the building blocks of the owner's 'what-if' stories. Also it's a redo fic, meaning that I'm taking a story and starting it over from the beginning with a slight difference. That doesn't have to mean time-travel! It's fairly immature in parts, mature in others; just something to have fun with. If you're not having fun reading it, you're reading the wrong fic. Go find another.

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_Ever have the feeling that the world is out to get you? That somewhere, somewhen, you and somebody had an incident which you won, but that somebody turned around and cursed you for all eternity to never have a true moment of peace, and that was, like, 13 reincarnations ago and the curse is still going strong, and all you can do is sit there and wonder who you could have possibly pissed off that badly and why they have such pull with Fate (yes, that's capitalized)?_

_For me, it's just one thing after another that lets me know that I'm just a Universal punching bag. First there was Volde-Riddle-mort and his attack on my family and me, being the ripe old age of just over a year, was ready to take on this aforementioned curse. I do, of course, speak quite sarcastically; at this point it's either that or curl up and cry. I may still do that. Anyways, because of that, my parents died, and I am placed with the most wonderful people in the world, the Dursleys! _

_Again, more sarcasm._

_Now for some reason that only he seems to know, except for maybe that fiery avian that he keeps around, (see Hermione, I'm not quite as dumb as you think I am) Dumbledore felt it was the right place for me, into the loving family arms of those blood relatives closest to me, who had just started a family of their own. Well, whoops, that didn't quite work out as planned, did it Headmaster? For years they treated me as less important than a piece of furniture. Maybe I should be thankful for that, being sat on by Uncle Vernon would have been decidedly unpleasant._

_Then came the owls, building up to my birthday and Hagrid. He took me away, showed me magic, and didn't say an unkind thing to me. He got me Hedwig too. I remember the Express, Ron and Hermione, the twins, even Draco. They each left an impression on me to one degree or another. The school work was different. The SCHOOL was different, but in a good way. I felt like it was a place where I might belong._

_If you are reading this you probably already know my story, or at least the 'highlights' of my life, the latest of course being the Tri-wizard Tournament which was covered closely by the press. Oh how I'd love to pay back Rita Skeeter somehow, though Hermione says she has it handled for now. That girl and her schemes, I swear... _

_Anyways I won, along with Cedric, but Voldemort had his own plans. Now Cedric__**'s**__ died and I nearly did too__,__ and Voldemort is back; everyone thinks I'm crazy for believing that, even Ron and Hermione at times, though they hide it well. Trying to be friends with the crazy guy can't be easy, I suppose, but I'm not sure what they really think. They haven't communicated much in the last little while. I got sent back here to Privet Drive, and have gotten very little in the way of info. I mean, sure I get little notes saying they are fine but they don't seem very, I dunno, personable. It's like the letters were written at the beginning of the summer and they are just releasing them at pre-arranged times._

_Now it's Dementors! Can you believe it? They just up and attack me and my cousin, I get an official notice from the Ministry about being expelled for defending myself, that they are gonna snap my wand too, and all I get is a note to stay put. If anything else happens, I swear I'm gonna just snap…_

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Harry sighed frustratedly and put down his quill. He thought that Hermione had said that writing stuff down would be calming for him, but all it seemed to do for him is make him more angry. Harry quickly realized that he needed to DO something, not write something. Maybe since Hermione's method of calming down wasn't working, he should try Ron's method of relaxing, and find some good food and stuff his face. '_Ugh, no. That's what Vernon and Dudders do too.' _That thought was slightly disturbing, though it was hard to pinpoint why. _'Maybe finding out any connection between the Dursleys and the Weasleys is disturbing on any level'_ he found himself thinking.

Speaking of the Dursleys, Harry realized that they still seemed to be arguing about what to do with him. Vernon seemed to be of the opinion that Harry needed to be as far away from them as possible, an opinion that Harry had to admit a.) had some validity to it considering Dudleys' condition, and b.) Harry wasn't totally opposed to. The surprise was apparently Aunt Petunia was not agreeing with the opinion, though she was certainly quieter in her arguments since Harry couldn't hear her. Harry knew that she wished that he wasn't in the house, but now that he thought about it, he really didn't know why she kept taking him back every summer, or why his Aunt was taking this stance now. They had sent him up to his room shortly after he got all the owl-post earlier, and frankly, he was happy to go. He had to get away from the arguing and excitement. '_I have enough of that in my life, thank you!'_

No, what Harry needed to really relax was to fly, like Hedwig, just take his Firebolt and go, go as fast as he could and scream into the night sky. A smile formed on his face as he sat on the floor with his back against the side of his cot and thought about it, the first smile he had on his face in days. Feeling the smile and imagining the flight he could take, Harry dreamed of the maneuvers he could take, all the loops, spins, hairpin turns, dives, on and on he daydreamed.

He had no idea how long he sat there but was knocked out of his reverie by a loud voice reverberating through the house, saying "REMEMBER MY LAST, PETUNIA!" and sounding like Headmaster Dumbledore. Startled, Harry started to rise, when he noticed something in his hand that he didn't remember being there before. There, as he stood half-slouched, half-standing, in his hand, was his Firebolt. _'Where did that come from,' _he thuoght to himself in shock. Harry just stood there dumbly as that thought passed through his brain over and over.

Finally regaining his faculties, he looked over at his trunk by the wardrobe in his room, and saw that the brooms' carrying case was wide open, with no Firebolt inside. Looking back at the broom in his hand, all Harry could think was _'Huh, weird,'_ when the broom gave a small shudder, a little tug, as if trying to leave his hand, yet still staying firmly in his grasp.

"Ok, now that's really weird," Harry said out loud as the Firebolt almost seemed to tug at him, almost as if it was asking him to... _'No, could it?' _Harry asked himself. _'Maybe I really am starting to lose it. I can see it now. "Mr. Potter, why did you decide to go for a joyride on your broom?" "The broom wanted to, your Honour! I couldn't let it go alone!" Yep, definately losing it. Seriously, do all magical artifacts gain intelligence at some point, or is it just the ones' around me? Like the Weasleys invisible car that Ron and I flew... to...'_

The broom in Harry's hand gave a twitch as the thought formed and grew in Harry's mind. _'Invisible... flew... invisible... FLEW!' _Suddenly Harry went over to his school trunk, Firebolt still in hand, opened it wide and went digging through it. Near the bottom of a back corner, he found the item he was looking for and pulled it out. His Father's Invisibility Cloak. Again marveling at the quality of the item, Harry briefly slipped into dreamland, imagining all the time he could spend on his broom, invisible to all; _'Except maybe Mad-Eye Moody'_ he thought to himself, _'and Dumbledore.' _Harry remembered back in second year when he and Ron were under the Invisibility Cloak in Hagrid's hut and Dumbledore had come in, gave them a message, while looking directly at them.

All of Harry's dreams of unlimited summer flying came crashing down around him as he sat down morosely and realized he would never be allowed to do any of that, to have the least amount of fun, because of who he was. '_I'm Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, living in the equivalent of a witness protection program, never allowed out because it's dangerous, people are out to kill me, simply because I freakishly survived the unsurvivab-bibble? Unsurvivible? Whatever, I lived so now everybody has to take their shots at me. I can't be normal. I want to be normal! Well normal for magic-users anyway. A teenager who just has to worry about homework and girls and... hmmm, girls...'_

Harry's daydreams took on a different approach from flying as he started to visualize the cute girls he knew from school. Granted he didn't know a lot of them all that well, but he certainly had started noticing who was among the better looking ones in school. Being distracted by the Tournament hadn't made him THAT distracted _'No, focused. Focused is a better word.' _Having Seamas and Dean as roomies helped with the catagorizing of certain, ah, attributes, as they really paid attention to that sort of thing. Cho Chang was, of course, at the top of his imagining. She had been for more than a year. Harry found himself really attracted to her Oriental looks. Her quidditch prowess and seeker build seemed really nice too. Others that had filtered through his mind were, of course, Fleur Delacour from the Tournament_(the hot in hotness)_, Lavender Brown _(she'd be in certain magazines if she were muggle!)_, Daphne Greengrass _(the very definition of Ice Queen)_, and several others seemed to be developing nicely, like Susan Bones or the Patil Twins. Some of the girls from Beauxbaton caught his eye. Even Hermione had impressed everyone during the Yule Ball, proving that she was definately worth a second look.

_'Ok that's it. Enough of this whining! This year is going to be different,'_ Harry vowed to himself. _'I'm going to ask out a girl, no, a bunch of different girls on dates. I'm not going to be this same-old, quiet, in-the-background Harry Potter anymore! Screw what everyone else thinks of it. I like girls; I want to get to know girls. I want girls to get to know me. I wouldn't mind maybe a little bit extra fun,... but that's not the important part! I want more friends, girlfriends, erh, girl-friends... um, girl friends; yeah that's it! I'll ask Cho out first, I'm betting she could use a few friends right now. No, maybe I should ask Hermione, I've known her the longest, it might be fun... well maybe. Hopefully. No, that might be too complicated, we'll see. Ooo, maybe Lavender, nothing complicated there! But what if she says no? Hmmm, I might have to make a list...'_

At this stage Harry began rooting around in his trunk for the proper supplies for a list of girls. '_Wait, my supplies are on my desk.' _Rushing over to his desk while the thought was still fresh in his head, while standing his Firebolt against the desk, and placing the cloak on his lap as a blanket, Harry started to write down names of different girls he knew and rating them according to how he saw them. There were many corrections and additions to the very rough draft he was making, lines crossing through names or descriptions and all sorts of editing that could only make sense to Harry's mind. So intent was he on this, that Harry failed to notice the slight buzzing noise in the air, nor the slight change in air pressure.

After working some minutes on 'The List' as he called it, Harry sat back for a second to consider what he was doing. _'Why am I doing this? This isn't like me at all, going on about girls like this!' 'That's a point in favor of doing this, isn't it? To not be like the same-old Harry' 'Great, not only am I talking to myself, I'm also arguing with myself!' 'And losing. Maybe the papers are right. I am delusional.' _" I am so screwed."

Snap Harry looked down to the hand to the not at all surprising sight of a broken, mangled quill bent in a direction that would make dictation very difficult with that particular instrument. Harry sighed, negligently tossed his ruined quill onto the desk, then tilted his head back and sighed in frustration. _'That was my last quill, dammit! Now I can't even finish my summer school work.' _Granted it was very light this summer, what with the Tournament taking precedence last year, but...

The change in the rooms atmosphere suddenly caught Harry's' attention as he noticed the slight hum, even as he noticed his skin prickling with a small electric charge. Slowly opening his eyes he sensed... well an anomaly in his room. Harry lowered his head back down slowly, as if trying to not startle a nervous animal, then just as slowly turned his body around in his chair, his right hand automatically going to his wand in his back pocket, and saw...

"What the hell?" _'It looks like some kind of giant... floating... green-gray... egg!'_ Now Harry was almost positive that he was cracking. Did the dementors actually do something to him, did he finally crack under the pressure? Whatever it was that was happening to him, he still had this man-sized egg thing to deal with, crazy or no. Harry got up, packed his Invisibility cloak into his back pocket _'It's always amazing how that thing seems to fold up to any size,' _picking up his Firebolt in his left hand while keeping his wand in his right and trained on the egg thingee. Harry proceeded to circle the object but saw nothing different or distinctive about it. It was a man-sized egg, and it was green, or maybe gray. _'I hope an alien doesn't pop out of it and start to eat me, like in the movies.' _Harry grimaced at the thought. Knowing his luck...

After going around the object twice trying to see if anything could be seen from different angles, and finding nothing, Harry's wariness lowered as his curiosity started to get the better of him. He wanted to find out what it was. Deciding he didn't want to risk his wand, he put it back into his back pocket and picked up the first object that came to hand from the desk, which happened to be his broken quill. Glancing at it and, getting his Firebolt ready to fly '_just in case,' _Harry lightly tossed the quill at the object. He then watched as the broken quill, rather than following his wishes in flying through the air and connecting with the egg-thingee, fluttered and flitted in the air as gravity took hold and pulled it to the ground. Feeling slightly stupid, and glad no one had seen that, Harry looked to find something else on his desk. His eyes landed on his paper-weight, an old toy of Dudley's', the back half of a fire-truck with its' wheels missing, that found itself in this room, and used by Harry for said purpose of keeping his parchment from flying all over the room. _'That'll do.'_

With that Harry immediately picked it up and tossed it underhanded at the egg, and then watched as it bounced off, with the added effect of ripples being projected from the point of impact. Harry winced as the old toy made a rather large rattle as it then connected with the floor and was then reprimanding himself for doing something so foolish as to gain attention from the Dursley's. _'There's no way they are going to ignore me throwing things around in my room' _was the thought going through Harry's head, but as he continued to wince and listen for the uncoordinated stomps of his uncle coming up the stairs to find out what 'the freak' was doing, he realized that he couldn't hear anything outside his room. In fact thinking back, he couldn't recall anything for some time, since his Uncle and Aunt were having their argument and he heard Dumbledore's voice. _'Probably a howler,' _Harry concluded.

'_Could this egg-thingee be something from the Headmaster' _Harry asked himself, looking at the object with even more curiosity. _'It seems to set up an area of silence around it, which is nice, though the tingly feeling is a bit odd. I wonder...'_ Taking a chance, Harry decided to try to touch it quickly, just brushing it with his finger and then quickly pulling back. Like with the paper-weight, a series of ripples spread out from the point of impact, making it appear to almost wobble in space. Waiting until the ripples died away, which only took a couple of seconds, Harry tried again, this time with more force, trying to push the object with his finger.

To his surprise, the object didn't move, rather his finger sunk into it as if it were made of jell-o. Fascinated and also slightly squicked by this observation, Harry pulled his finger out. When this happened the egg did not create a ripple effect as before, rather a hole now resided where his finger had been. Harry bent down to get a better look at the hole…

When to his shock, but not-really surprise the hole opened up wider and a great sucking vortex sucked Harry head-first directly inside it. Harry's last thoughts as he was enveloped into the egg was _'Figures_._' _At which point the egg promptly collapsed in on itself, shrinking until there was nothing but a twinkle of light left in its wake, and then nothing.

Seconds later, a large, rotund man with a walrus-type moustache entered the room, exclaiming loudly "Alright you little freak, you've got visitors downstairs who are going to take you… Boy? Where are you hiding?! Potter?! …Uh-oh…" This last was very quiet as he realized the trouble about to come down on his own head very soon.

Harry Potter had realized something; he absolutely hated magical forms of transportation. This was in no way a new thought to him, he had come to this conclusion before, but each new successive attempt made him redefine his increasing contempt for any form of transport that was magically powered.

Take the present circumstance as an example. Just by poking something with his finger he is suddenly in some kind of warp in space hurtling him who-knows-where. What next?

Suddenly a voice out of the darkness was saying something that Harry couldn't understand the words of, though the tone was that of Hermione when she was telling him and Ron to do their homework when they were goofing off. The voice sounded like a girl too so that made the impression even more pronounced.

At that point, Harry seemed to turn towards a point of light that hadn't been there before and started to propel towards it quickly, the light gaining in intensity as he seemed to get closer. _'I swear if this is a trick by the twins, somebody's gonna DIE!'_ Harry closed his eyes against the intensity, bringing his arm up in defense of his face, hoping that this would end soon.

After a moment the intensity of the light died down, and Harry risked a look, and immediately wished he hadn't. There, directly ahead of him, or more accurately below him was a castle that he was speedily approaching, faster than he had ever moved before. At this point Harry calmly realized there was only one logical thing he could do.

"AAAAAAUUUUGGGHHHHH!!" Following this action, he promptly passed out.

'_Ok, maybe TWO logical things.'_

Harry woke up. He knew this feeling. He also knew he wasn't expecting it. Most people upon waking up from an unconscious state had a degree of confusion and unawareness that took time to overcome. Not Harry. He was able to go from asleep to aware in a blink, without anyone knowing it. Harry figured it was a defense mechanism of some kind from his time with the Dursleys'. But that didn't matter. For some reason he wasn't dead. _'Ok, that's a plus I suppose, but we'll see who's here after I open my eyes,'_ Harry could smell the scent of well-tended grass, could hear various voices whispering in the background though he couldn't make out what they were saying, _'Probably wondering if I'm dead. Which I should be after a fall like that.'_ He could feel his tight grip on something in his left hand, _'Oh yeah, my Firebolt. Maybe I should have used that when I was falling.'_ Shifting his muscles a bit, Harry found that nothing appeared to be hurt. Next were the eyes. Taking a quick breath, Harry opened his eyelids.

At first he was looking up at the blue sky, which had white puffy clouds in it. Nothing out of the ordinary. Check. Suddenly a face crossed into his line of vision, a cute girl actually, looking at him as he laid on the ground. She then said something, or maybe asked something, but Harry was distracted by one of her features. _'She has pink hair..'_ The thought hit him as weird and he looked closer, deciding that straight pink didn't quite fit the description. Her long hair was maybe a mix of blond and red in a unique way that made it appear pink at first glance. Looking at her face, he realized that she was looking annoyed for some reason.

Harry decided to risk it and sat up to look around. In that quick glance he saw what looked to him like Hogwarts in a weird way. He appeared to be in a castle courtyard, sitting on the grass, surrounded by teenagers in what looked like his Hogwarts uniforms, white shirts, black cloaks, dark slacks for the guys, dark skirts for the girls. Unfortunately he didn't recognize anyone that he saw in that quick glance around. He also noticed that a lot of strange creatures were with the students, some he had never seen before, and was pretty sure he had never heard Hagrid talk about, either.

Looking back at the girl directly in front of him Harry decided to try to ask for information. "Where am I, what is this place?"

The girl looked even more miffed than before and started spouting off gibberish, as far as Harry could tell. He knew this couldn't be a good sign. '_She definitely isn't speaking English. And I can't speak any other languages other than snake. Great! I can't even get my questions understood, let alone answered.'_

Another voice spoke up, and Harry turned to see one of the most well-endowed females he had ever seen, and one that obviously didn't mind showing this fact off if the tightness of her shirt was any indication. Her hair was also an interesting shade of deep red that Harry had never seen before. _'Ron would probably be drooling in his shoes over her.' _She seemed to find the situation before her amusing, if the pointing at Harry and the Pink-haired girl was any indication, and seemed to be getting giggles out of the surrounding _'students?'_ with what she was saying. This seemed to annoy _'Pink'_ even more as she said something back to _'Buxom. Yeah that's a good name.'_

At this stage other students started making comments, which set of a good round of laughter. Harry wished he knew what they were saying, he could use a good joke, but then he had the feeling that the joke was probably him, so he probably wouldn't find it all that amusing. Deciding he had had enough Harry decided to speak up.

"Hey wait a…"

_Pink_ rounded on Harry and yelled in his face, something short and to the point, the general gist of which Harry figured was somewhere along the lines of "Keep that mouth of yours closed before I find something ugly, nasty, and still moving to fill it, then glue your lips together with something that would need a pylon-driver to make a dent in!" _'Granted that seems to me to be a rough translation, but I think I'll just shut up now. And just what are those machines called that drive a pylon into the ground? Unimportant right now! You can find out later. Right now you are busy going nuts. Maybe I am crazy and this is all in my imagination. Maybe I'm dreaming'_ Harry found he couldn't care at this stage.

At the moment _Pink_ was talking something over with an older man _'a teacher?' _carrying a staff in his hand, seeming to demand something of him, which the man replied in the negative with a shake of his head. The _teacher_ started to explain some things in a lecture tone he had heard from Professor McGonagall many-a-time, and Harry saw an opportunity to try to escape the situation and put a bit of distance between him and his crazies. _'Maybe a lot of distance.'_ So determining, he quietly started to crawl away, dragging his Firebolt along and hoping everyone's attention would stay on _Teacher_ long enough.

No such luck. _Pink_ seemed to see him crawling away from her and ran up behind him, grabbing the hood of the hoody he was wearing, _'Curses! Foiled again!' _and holding it so he couldn't go anywhere. It made him feel a bit like a dog, actually, with his owner pulling on the leash. She then said something that seemed to set everyone to laughing again, even as T_eacher_ again explained something to her. Her voice took on a _'nervous? dismayed?' _tone as she questioned _Teacher_ and poked him in the back. _'Wait, that didn't feel like a finger; that felt like…wood.'_ Harry did not like the connotations of that particular thought, even as he had yet to raise his head to look around.

_Teacher_ seemed to reprimand _Pink_ for something, almost like telling her to get on with it, whatever it was. She took a deep breath and let it out in resignation, let go of Harry's hood, replied to _Teacher_, then turned her eyes to Harry. The look in her eyes looked a lot like the look Hermione got when Ron messed up the organization of her notes when he '_borrowed'_ them. Harry decided a quick retreat was in order. _'He who screams and runs away, and all that rot…'_ Crab-walking backwards, Harry hoped some distance would somehow help the situation. _'Pulling my wand and using magic right now might be appropriate. It's self defense, right?'_

While Harry considered this plan of action, _Pink _was calmly approaching him. What confused him was what seemed to be the shouts of encouragement, and even more confusing, the _'catcalls?!' _from the other students. This confused Harry quite a bit. She got close to him as he stared in bewilderment at the other teenagers, and she addressed him in that language that he didn't have a hope of understanding. Then suddenly she pulled out _'A wand. Well, crap!'_ Harry knew it was over. He must have somehow been transported to a Death-Eater training camp or something. _'Maybe even Durmstrang. There were a lot of rumors about that place being bad…'_

She then started saying something, part of which Harry almost understood as maybe being a name, but it was hard to concentrate as she suddenly whipped her wand down towards him, pointing it between his eyes. Harry gulped, but had an incongruous thought flash through his consciousness, _'Where are my glasses? I don't have my glasses on but I can see just fine. Not the time!' _and startedwondering what spell she would use to end this crazy experience. Whether real or imaginary, he wanted this over. _'This is too weird, even by MY standards!'_ Then, just as suddenly, she lowered her wand from where it was pointing to rest at her side, she knelt down at his level, looked him in the eyes, and tried to explain something, looking very formal as she did so. _'Maybe it's not explaining so much as… a ritual? A formal greeting?'_

Then she stopped and reached out, grabbing the back of his head with her free hand, closed her eyes and started to pull his head towards hers. Harry quickly panicked, struggled, and loudly saying "What the heck are you planning on doing?!" She stopped pulling at him momentarily, opened her eyes to look at him from a very short distance away, and he could see the annoyance in her eyes. She said something brief to him that he interpreted as _"Just stay still!"_

Harry didn't know what to do. "But…wha…I…uh…," was all he could say at this point. She closed her eyes again, pulled his head towards hers, and puckered her lips as if for a kiss. Harry REALLY didn't know what to do now, so in the end did nothing. _'She isn't really going to kiss me is she?'_

She did. His brain went into overdrive, while his body went into neutral. Throughout his brain different synapses were flaring, some of them could be considered the usual kind for this kind of activity, some were not so usual. A light breeze picked up around Harry and _Pink, _the air seemed to shimmer slightly and they both felt a kind of connection, both familiar and strange, very weak yet, but still there. One of Harry's main thoughts was of course, _'WHOOHOO! I just got kissed by a cute, pink-haired girl!'_ Another was _'Why did she kiss me? This doesn't seem like any formal greeting I've ever heard of!'_ Yet another was _'Does this mean she doesn't want to kill me?'_ And yet another was _'I better not wake up any time soon!'_

All too soon for Harry's liking, though he couldn't tell you how long they had sat there in that embrace, she pulled back and away from him. _Teacher _came up from behind her as she stood up from Harry and seemed to say something like a compliment to her, calm as you please. Actually she seemed to be quite calm too, as if what had just happened didn't faze her at all. She wasn't even blushing. For some reason Harry took exception to that thought, though in his defense he realized that he had not responded to the kiss. This seemed to be just another weird turn for this _'dream? Adventure? Crazy-induced delusion?'_ and he just had to say something.

"Would someone please tell me what is going on?!"

Both _Teacher _and _Pink_ then looked at him expectantly, as if waiting for something to happen. Harry started getting nervous at this point and fearfully looked down at himself. Surprisingly, he was startled to be seeing steam coming off his body. _'It was a good kiss, but I didn't think it was that good!'_ He could also feel the heat of his body increase as the steam increased.

"Wha-what did you do to me?!"

_Pink _looked at him and spoke in her native tongue about something, _'could be an explanation, could be a recipe for boiled Potter for all I know,'_ when suddenly the heat from his body seemed to concentrate on his left hand, sending waves of pain through him. He couldn't even hold onto his Firebolt and it fell to the ground. It felt vaguely like the Crucio curse, though this pain was just at one part of the body, as opposed to over the whole body. The pain spiked and the last thing Harry remembered later before blacking out again that day was the slight look of curious concern on _Pink's_ face.

Harry woke up again, quietly, trying to take in his surroundings. He remembered the pain from whatever that steam was, and didn't want to go through that again. Figuring that he should just get it over with, and hoping the hallucination was over _'I'm so going to kill the Twins. It's all right, there's plenty of Weasleys, nobody will notice if they go missing,' _he opened his eyes and saw a stone ceiling, one that he was unfamiliar with. Hoping he was in Hogwarts, he turned his head to the left to see a bed, table with two chairs, wardrobe and armoire, and an open window beyond the bed. A candle on the table was the only source of light in the room with none coming in from the window, so it must be night. The room looked vaguely like a dormitory room but the single bed in the room seemed to dispel that notion. _'And what am I doing sleeping on the floor? Maybe instead of a students dorm I'm in a teachers room. Ok, that just sounds wrong.' _Turn his head to the right he saw…

There she was, _Pink!_ Just standing there looking at him. Harry flinched back as he realized who it was, his back crawling up the wall as he raised himself from the floor. She asked something of him which he couldn't understand, and didn't really care about as the realization came, _'it isn't over!'_ She started saying more as Harry stayed against the wall, his hand slowly going towards his pocket where his wand was stored, not paying attention to a thing she said. As his hand closed over it, he realized something was wrong, very wrong. Usually when he had a hold of his wand, it felt wonderful, like one of the best feelings in the world _'Mental note; never mention sensation of holding my wand to any of my roomies. Or anyone for that matter.' _Now however, there was no reaction, no feeling, it felt like just a stick in his pocket. Harry had a sinking feeling in his gut.

Pink continued to talk to him like he was paying attention or could even understand, all the while not even looking at him, which he figured was just as well, as she approached her wardrobe and took off her cloak. Harry decided to try communicating with her again.

"Look, miss, I don't know what is going on here, but I have to get back home. It's going to be noticed that I'm missing, and it's going to freak out quite a few people. My godfather is not the most rational person in the world. He might do something thaaaa…?" Harry trailed off as he realized that not only was she not really paying attention to him, she was also continuing to undress, first letting her skirt drop to the floor and then starting to unbutton her shirt. Harry could only stand there stunned as she did this, finally snapping out of it as she casually tossed the clothes she had taken off thus far into his face, and saying something that he STILL couldn't understand. It really was driving him bonkers. _'Can you really be driven bonkers if you're already crazy?'_ It was really enough to make him cry.

She stood there in just a slip covering her at this point, talking to him calmly, though looking disappointed over something. Was she expecting him to do something? With HER?! She was certainly cute enough that she would definitely go on his List, _'Oh crap, where is the List?'_ but this kind of thing was WAY outside his areas of expertise. The kiss from earlier proved that. Maybe this is all a misunderstanding on his part, but how else do you interpret a girl kissing you, then later stripping down in front of you, and getting a disappointed look when you don't do what she expects? At this point Harry started trying to explain to her, holding her clothes up to his head so he couldn't see her and get distracted.

"look Miss, um, Pink, I think we're jumping a bit into something that should be taken a little bit more serious than you seem to be. I shouldn't even be here! I'm supposed to be back with the Dursley's at the moment angsting over why nobody is telling me anything, especially after the Dementor attack and everything with Voldemort. Now I'm sure you are a very nice person, and given different circumstances," at this point he sneaked a peak at her; she seemed deep in thought with her eyes closed, as if trying to remember something. Harry again noticed how cute she was, though that might not be the right word at the moment with her wearing very little clothing. _'What is the right word? Figure it out later!'_ Harry continued explaining, burying his head back into her clothes "…this would be something I would be very interested in sharing with you. Maybe we could exchange owls or something as soon as I figure out what language you speak. Since you happen to be a witch, do you know any translation spells?" Harry asked, looking up again directly into the point of a wand.

"Oh, shi."

BBLLLLAAAAAMMMMMM!!

"That wasn't supposed to happen."

The words percolated in Harry's brain for a few seconds as he lay on the ground waiting for the smoke to clear and his ears to stop ringing. Maybe he hadn't really heard that. Maybe he really was dead this time. _'No everything hurts too badly for me to be dead;. though I couldn't really say for sure. Maybe I can ask Sir Nick if his neck still hurts…' _Still too stunned to move, Harry blurted out, or more like wheezed out. "What...cough…What was that?"

The girl looked stunned for a moment as Harry lifted himself off the now-soot-encrusted-floor, _'Oh look, an impression of me, how nice!'_ and approached Pink with what he hoped was a menacing expression, reaching towards her.

"Now look I was trying to be nice earlier, because you're a cute girl and all but when you start trying to blow things up, namely me…"

The girl shook herself out of her shock, her long hair swaying back and forth as she did. "I can understand you now. I can understand you!"

Harry literally paused in mid-step in shock, not able to believe it for a moment, before gravity again took hold and he pitched forward towards her. His quidditch reflexes, however saved him from crashing her as he pivoted to the side and landed on the ground alone. Staying there for a second, he thought over what he had heard. _'She can understand me! That means I can get some answers to what is going on. I can figure out how to get home.' _Harry literally jumped back to his feat, startling the girl slightly as she took half a step back in surprise. Each looked at each other in anticipation for the other to speak, but Harry had so much going on in his head that he didn't have a clue where to start.

After a few seconds, _Pink_ looked slightly annoyed and said plainly "Say something."

Harry said the first thing that came to his mind, "So you can speak English now?" He felt slightly stupid for saying it afterwards.

_Pink _looked slightly confused and reflective standing there in her slip. "How did this happen? It was supposed to be a Cone of Silence. **Sigh** I screwed up again." Looking back at Harry, she asked, "So what is your name?"

"Me? I'm, uh, I, um…" Harry couldn't believe it! She didn't know who he was! _'Now is it a good thing or a bad thing? I'm gonna go for good if she doesn't recognize me. Wasn't I wishing earlier to be normal? Is this my chance?'_

"Well?" She looked impatient.

"I'm Harry, Harry Potter."

"Harry Potter?" _'Not a hint of recognition. Yesss!'_

"Um, so how did I end up here? I seem to recall falling…"

"Isn't it obvious how you are here? You were summoned by me," the girl stated like he was stupid. _'Ok getting less cute by the second…' _"…As my familiar."

"Oh…WHAAATTTTT?!" Harry's eyes nearly bugged out of his head.

She grabbed his left hand, turning it over and pointing at the new scars, no, tattoos, on the back of his hand. She looked up at him.

"You're mine."

Over the next hour, Harry learned about who he was with, _'Louise Francoise le Bran de la Valiel. She's French?'_, to where he was staying, _'The Magical Academy; not Beauxbatons, hmmm.'_ to the country he was in, _'Tristein kingdom on the Halkeginia Continent; now I know I don't know all the countries in the world, but I know there is only seven continents, and this Halkeginia ain't one of them!'_ He sat on the ground holding onto his broom and focused on something he understood.

"So you are a student here at the Academy, just another student among many…"

"I will not allow a familiar address me so disrespectfully." She looked down her nose at him looking slightly annoyed. "I am Louise. Louise de la Valiel."

_'I can't believe it! She's pulling a Malfoy! Your cuteness just took a nosedive, sister.' _Harry figured he needed to distract her. The answer? Just act dumb!

"Right, right. And I am Harry Potter, the familiar that Louise de la Valiel summoned, right? Lifelong companions to wizards and all that, right? I've read about them before." _'More than you know.'_

Louise took a breath and spoke to herself, "Why is my familiar a commoner?" She closed her eyes in despair. "Why not a dragon or a griffin or something like that?" Taking a deep breath, she lamented, "I wanted something cooler than this… this…" Opening her eyes, she found that he was no longer in the same spot. "…Harry Potter?" Looking around the only evidence she found was a slowly swinging door to her room.

"He ran away?" she asked in incredulity. "My familiar ran away? You're kidding right?" Her irritation rose a few more notches.

Harry ran for dear life. There was no WAY he was going to stick around for this adventure. He needed to find a way out of here and find a way back to England and Hogwarts. _'This place is even more insane than my normal insanity. NOT what I had in mind when I thought of getting a girl-fiend, er, friend.'_

With his experience at Hogwarts it was fairly easy to navigate this castle's interior. _'A whole lot easier. No moving staircases, no talking portraits, just simple architecture.' _Which is why Harry would never, ever tell a soul that he was completely, hopelessly lost. He had to hide several times using his Invisibility Cloak from students wandering the halls, and twice even from Louise, who was dressed again and looking like she was out for blood. _'Well she'll have to get someone else's, because I'm using mine.'_ He finally found a set of stairs leading to the main entrance hall and made his way quickly down.

He knew he could try flying out of here with his Firebolt, but didn't want to risk the exposure, or possible damage, that could cause. He discovered earlier to his great dismay that his wand had indeed snapped at some point, leaving him with just two short holly sticks and the feather of a phoenix. Taking flight would lead to persuit, and he had nothing to fire back at persuers, So without the options of speed and strength, stealth became his next best option. He knew smarts should fall on that list somewhere, but really, that was more Hermione's area of expertise than his. So just like in the Tri-wizard Tournament, he was sticking to what he knew. _'Maybe when I get far enough away, I can get on the Firebolt.'_ He would have to worry about a wand later.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Harry had to pull up short as a couple were right at the bottom, effectively blocking the access point and didn't look like they were moving anytime soon. The boy was leaning up against the arch of the accessway, while the girl also stood under the arch, looking adoringly at the boy. _'Great, just what I need. Come on, just move on, would you?'_

The girl was talking about her culinary skills, and how she had made some specially made food, just for him. Harry groaned to himself as he watched the girl make a fool of herself, at least from Harry's point of view. The boy just lapped it up. No, correction, the boy reveled in the attention, almost like it was his due, '_almost like… Lockheart! Grrrr… no, not now, not ever, have to escape… Is she really buying those lines? There cannot exist any deceitfulness in my feelings for you? I cannot tell lies in front of your eyes? She is! She's buying it! This is like a train wreck, I can't look away.'_

Finally able to control his reactions, Harry came to the realization that he would have to remove his Cloak to get by the two, He risked discovery, but the Cloak might come in handy later if they didn't know about it's properties should he be caught again. Heading back up the stairs a bit he removed the Invisibility Cloak, pocketed it, _'Wish I could do that with the Firebolt too,' _and came back down the stairs, hoping maybe they had moved on. _'No such luck. Maybe if I just act casual they won't even notice me.'_

Actually the plan almost worked as Harry tried to slip past them as they talked, _'Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact!'_ but at the last second the guy, _'Guiche, what kind of name is that?'_ noticed his conquest being interrupted, however inadvertently, and looked at who was bothering him in irritation, then surprise, and stated, "It's the commoner that Louise summoned."

'_Busted!'_

The girl looked over then too as Harry could just stand there for the moment rather sheepishly, ashamed at getting caught. She said "The one from the summoning ceremony? Oh, it's big news even amongst the First Years." She turned back to Guiche.

"Yes, but he fell unconscious right after, so we had to move him instead. It was a big pain," Guiche continued.

Harry decided to ignore the comments and continued calmly towards the Entrance Hall and the exit.

"Halt, there, commoner." Guiche commanded.

Harry halted, but was tense, coiled like a spring and ready to jump in any direction, even onto his Firebolt if he had to _'I'm so close!'_

"Do you have no words of thankfulness towards a noble who would trouble his hands for you?"

'_Man this Guiche guy likes to hear himself talk! Fine, hopefully I'll never have to see him again.'_ Harry turned around "Reeeeally? Well I thank you from the bottom of my…" A new sound reached Harry's ears at that point. The sound of running shoes on the stairway. "Well, I gotta go now! BYE!" he screeched as he turned around and ran.

"What lack of etiquette," he heard Guiche say.

"What an irritating moron," Harry said under his breath.

Harry looked quickly back over his shoulder and saw that it was indeed Louise at the bottom of the stairs, looking very out of breath. _'This is good.' _However she was pointing straight at him and talking, no what looked like commanding Guiche. _'This is bad.'_

Getting to the Main Entrance hall, Harry saw a large fountain, with _Buxom_ and some guy hanging off of her as she whispered something to him. _'Is this the local make-out spot? Seems pretty public to me. No time!' _Harry took off again, he was getting pretty tired himself but his freedom was almost at hand. '_Just beyond those huge doors and I'll be free. I'm gonna have to make up the whole familiar thing to Hedwig somehow.'_ Again Harry took off running, racing for the exit. By the sounds of it Louise was closing in, with help this time.

'_Ha, ha! You'll never catch me now girlie!'_ Harry dashed out the main door, his momentum carrying him down the steps and onto the grass lawn. He needed a spot to hide so he could throw on his Invisibility Cloak and then take off on his broom. Looking desperately around, he couldn't see anything immediate in the moonlit courtyard.

Suddenly a force grabbed hold of him and lifted him into the air, dragging him back towards the castle. _'Crap what now?'_ Looking back towards the castle he saw the small group of people that had been chasing him. Guiche stood there with a _'Rose!?' _in his hand waving it back and forth; _Buxom _bringing up the rear with her date, seemingly trying not to laugh her head off; and Louise stood there, hands on hips, glaring daggers at him. Meanwhile Harry was floating in midair getting closer to the gathering.

Deciding to test the limits of the levitation spell, Harry started wind milling his arms and legs, struggling physically against the spell.

Guiche spoke up at this point. "I would appreciate it if you would just give in already."

Harry looked down at Guiche, seeing him in the moonlight still holding his Rose aloft in Harry's direction. _'Oh please, don't tell me the git is…'_

Guiche continued, "This is the second time today that I have had to levitate you. I tire of it, commoner" This was said with a superior smirk on his face.

Suddenly Guiche started gesturing to the left, and Harry was suddenly moving left. Then Guiche gestured to the right, and Harry obligingly moved to the right. _'The little ponce is enjoying this!'_

Then Harry heard _Buxom's_ voice sound out in amusement, "A familiar that ran away from it's master? That's hilarious!" as she proceeded to giggle.

Harry noticed that Louise did not look pleased. At all.

Harry had had enough of this however. He still had his Firebolt. _'Lets see the gits magic stand up against the Firebolt's acceleration!'_ Harry took hold of the Firebolt, ready for flight. He could literally feel it thrum with power, like a driver revving a car engine. Knowing it and he was ready to escape, Harry looked up, ready to take off like a rocket…

To look into the face of two moons, one white-blue in color, the other, half-sized compared to the other, red-white. Harry stared in shock at the sight, not able to grasp the enormous concept of what he was seeing. So there was only one thing Harry could do at the end of this very long, tiring, surprising, dangerous day.

Harry Potter fell unconscious.

'_Logic rears it's ugly head again.'_

Now for those of you who aren't familiar with this crossover it is Harry Potter and the anime Zero no Tsukaima, or Zero's Familiar in English. I followed the plot of the first episode pretty seriously, but not completely as the enthusiasts might know. Kudos go out to the translators of this anime, without whom I would be totally lost, as I don't speak a lick of Japanese, or at least I didn't before watching this show. I think I'm getting the word 'baka' and it's many uses down quite handily, thank you. JKR gets props too for a most memorable world of her own, the name of which escapes me at them moment… hmm, oh well it'll come to me. If you want, leave me a review about this fic, telling me what you liked, what you disliked, strong points, weak points and wasted points. I'll try to put out another chapter of this soon as it is my passion at the moment. Review!


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